It was nearing the end of fall and you know how that goes, you start getting a little bored with the increasingly chilly weather and you wonder what you're going to do all winter long. I had spent the summer with my girlfriends, going out in the city on the nights Rylan was with his dad. But pick up lines probably work better when you start with "hey baby" and not "I have a baby." (Disclaimer: "Hey baby" isn't really okay either.)
I honestly worried
a lot about ever finding someone. I worried about the right time to start dating. I worried about how to balance being a mom and being a girlfriend if I did find someone. Mostly, I worried about Rylan and how dating would effect him.
I had a weirdly personal conversation with a former single mom that worked in the J Crew dressing room (this happens to me all the time!) who met her now husband on eHarmony. She was a year or two older than me and super friendly and outgoing. She told me to go home and do it, it was the best thing ever. But I just didn't have the gumption yet.
So one night after a few glasses of red wine I started thinking about that girl, her advice and putting myself back out there. I mentioned it to my friends, who were also drinking wine, and they encouraged me to join eHarmony too. A few clicks and a lot of money later, I was reviewing my matches.
When I woke up the next morning (read: sobered up), I called and tried to cancel but the kind folks in customer service convinced me to stay a few more weeks. But after a couple days I was feeling even more overwhelmed. I had
one night a week without Rylan and I refused to leave him with a sitter to accommodate my dating life so it didn't leave me much time to go out. All I can remember thinking is, I don't want to do this. I don't have the energy to date a bunch of guys. Ugh.
After my first "phone date", it got worse. I was all kinds of trauma-tized. "Mike" talked non-stop about himself and mentioned the female uterus several times. I actually took notes during the call to share with my friends, poured a (strong) drink, and convinced myself I was being punk'd.
The same week, I was matched with my baby daddy.
End scene.
After that I had all but written eHarmony off. I decided this wasn't really going to happen this go around and I should think about taking it easy and trying again in a year or two.
So I was looking through my matches, hope extinguished, when I opened a communication and looked at this guy's profile. A volunteer firefighter with two labs, we seemed to have a ton in common.We started talking and I grew to be more and more excited each time I opened my email to see something from him there.
We continued for almost a month before he asked me out. And while that may seem extreme, I was all kinds of okay with it since I had more than a rocky start with online dating. A new outfit, a shot of bourbon and a covert Google search to make sure he wasn't a convicted felon later, we met halfway between our places after work one Wednesday night.
The first thing I saw when I walked in was cowboy boots. Lord knows I'm a sucker for some boots.
As it turns out, it was Ian wearing them :)
